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Epiphany (Noun)  [ih-pif-uh-nee] : A sudden,  intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something,  usually initiated by somesimple,  homely,  or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Yep.  I haz one.  More to the point, I had one. Actually a couple, I think it tends to happen like that.

I got home from work last night, after being in the car for over an hour.  I’m tired.  All I want to do is sit down for a while, relax a bit.  But no such luck.  As soon as I get home it’s on.  Helping my wife with the house stuff, getting some shopping done, helping cook.  I grumbled to myself of course, but as a Father it’s my responsibility to do that sort of stuff.

The epiphany came when I was bathing my daughter.  At the same time, my wife was bathing our son, and I thought to myself, “Yep, we’re getting there. Look, both kids being bathed at the SAME TIME. Gee we’re getting good.”

And that was when I had my first epiphany of the evening.

Until the kids are in bed, my time is not MY time.

Yeah, yeah. I know.  It probably shouldn’t have taken me 14 years as a parent to figure this one out, but even though I consider myself a “new age” kinda guy, with the belief that there are no “Guys jobs” or “Chicks jobs”, I still (until yesterday) believed that “I’ve been at work all day, I deserve a break.”  I’ve never voiced that to my wife, but it’s how I felt.

Now it’s one thing to know that “my time is not my time”, but actually understanding, and accepting it, is a whole different matter.  My usual routine when dealing with bath time for my daughter is:

• Get Bath Ready,
• Put her in the bath,
• Check Tweets and FB etc on my iPhone while she plays,
• Wash her,
• Do some more iPhone checking while she plays,
• Get her out and dressed

I thought I was being so efficient, getting in some Social network time while she was in the bath, which would then free me up later for quality time with the family, or coding if I was so inclined.

How wrong I was.  You see,  my routine was thrown out of whack, because I left my phone in my jacket when I started her bath.  As a parent that is paranoid about things like my kids drowning in an inch of water, I refuse to leave her unattended in the bath, even for a few seconds.

So I’m sitting, bored, watching her play in the bath.  It didn’t take long before I was so bored that I started to play with her in the bath. Playing with the floaty toys turned to singing (ugh!) when we found the little frog.  I loathe singing, primarily because my singing tends to create quite a stir.  The neighborhood dogs start howling along, and I’m almost certain that I can hear people immediately moving away from our suburb.  So of course I’m always extremely self-conscious when I sing.

This one was not a tall order however. Singing the “Mr Frog jumped out of his pond” song.  As soon as I sung the first note, I remembered how bad my singing really is, and I almost stopped.

And then I had my second epiphany:

As parents,  we put our own judgments onto our children.

Again, this seems like a bit of a “duhhh” moment, but what I mean by that is not our beliefs, but our JUDGMENTS.  My 2 year old daughter is not going to say anything about my singing abilities(or lack thereof).  She’s just going to make Mr Frog jump in and out of his pond while I do it.  We ended up having a great time, although we did get a lot more water around the bathroom than we normally do. But that was fun too.

The next epiphany:

We don’t play with our children enough!

I mean REALLY play.  In the wild, lion cubs play together to learn.  The lioness will join in the play, teaching the cubs the basics of hunting.  From what I have seen, and experienced personally, play for humans is nothing more than a way to pass the time.Don’t get me wrong, I “play ball” with my daughter pretty much every day.  But I don’t enjoy it.  The “rules” for playing ball, are changed more often than her nappy.  This gets quite frustrating, especially when I’ve just got home from work and she demands my attention.

But for the moment I’m singing the Mr Frog song while I ponder my new found wisdom.  What is the wrost thing that is going to happen if i sing to my daughter?

“Mum can sing better than you can!”

“Yes, but at least I’m trying.”

That is the moment it all gelled.  See what I did there?  If that situation was to ever come up, I would not stop singing.  I would say exactly what I have there. “Yeah but at least I’m trying.”

Play has turned into a life lesson “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”

And then it all gelled

Until the kids are in bed, my time is not MY time.  My time belongs to the kids. They need my guidance, and the best way to do that with a two year old is through play.  Accepting that fact improves your quality of life, and time, immeasurably.  All of a sudden, helping out with the kids is not so much of a chore, and yes I’m tired, and I DO deserve a break.  But then so does my wife.  While I’ve been at work, so has she.  Hard at work.  Washing clothes and dishes.  Cooking and feeding.  Juggling all of the stuff she already had to do and then adding a newborn and all the jobs associated with him as well.

So this one is for you guys out there.  Have a good hard think.

Look at how much you REALLY help at home, because she is working as well, just as hard as you are.  If you think you help enough, have another look.  If you have children, chances are, she hasn’t sat down at all by the time you get home.  No lunch breaks, no morning tea.

Look at the way you interact with your kids, and remember, they wont judge you.  If they do, just find a way to turn it into a life lesson.  Both you and your children will be the better for it.

Wow.  Bloody glad that is over.

While I knew July/August was going to be a high-stress time, I was simply not prepared for everything that came along.

At first things were flowing nicely.  I was getting plenty of time to work on my projects.  Preparing for the arrival of the new baby.  Making sure we had everything.  Life was good.  And then it started, the bloody car blew it’s heater core. Nice.  Over a thousand bucks later and we are starting to get short of dollars the month that the baby is arriving. Nice.

Thinking about it now, it could actually be my own fault, because at about the time I found out how MUCH the car was going to cost to get fixed, I (stupidly) asked “What else is going to go wrong.  Isn’t this sorta stuff supposed to happen in threes?”.

As it turns out, that simple question had the same karmic effect as being in a horror movie and saying “Just going for a drink, Be Right Back”, walking UP the stairs, on the phone, looking in on the kids I’m babysitting, while wearing a skimpy outfit, hearing a noise and running to one room in the house that has only one exit.  Hang on…skimpy what?

Next, just because financial issues aren’t already on the agenda, my wife’s father passes away.  Needless to say that is a stress she did not need, when she was so close to having the baby.  Before he passed there were countless trips to the hospital, which she had to make herself, as I was working.  The raw emotion. Not so nice.  Then afterwards, the added stress of wondering if we were going to be able to make it to the funeral, both from a financial and medical standpoint.

Then we had a break from the uninvited chaos.  The birth of our beautiful boy, Connor.  THIS stress we were prepared for.  Well as prepared as you can be.  We had everything we needed.  Nappies and Clothes. Formula, wipes and all the other paraphernalia you need for cleaning babies.(If you aren’t a parent, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how much you need just to keep a baby clean!).  Everything was great.  They let us go from hospital and we brought him home.

*The_Universe  slaps you in the face with a large fish*

Number 3.  Connor has an infection.  He got it before we even left hospital, but somehow they missed it in his final exam.  So back to hospital we go.  Another few days of hospital trips before he is well enough to come home again.  More stress. No sleep. Noice! Obviously, this also prevents us from making it to the funeral.  We did try, but our little man was just not well enough to be able to make the 4 hour trip.

But it’s OK.  Things are starting to calm down again.  Now that Connor is over the infection, he is coming along just fine.  We’ll get up to the grave in the next few weeks, and we’ll be sure to have “one for the homies”.

This is the part where I should think of something witty to say to the universe.  You know the part in the movies where the underdog defiantly looks into the face of his adversary, spits and says:

*censored*

Sorry, I’m not tempting fate, not this month…

As Flux Singularity is approaching a point where I will be able to start beta testing, my mind has turned to the inevitable, “How do I make my money back?”

I would love to be able to simply release it as an open source project, providing it for free to anyone who wants to use it, but let’s be honest here.  I’ve put an uncountable number of hours into the design and development of this system over the last few years.  I’ve sacrificed time with my family.  Don’t get me wrong,  I enjoy working on the system and I really believe in the concept, but without trying being selfish, I want my dues.

Now I’m not a greedy person.  I’m not the sort of person that thinks “Alrighty, hard work done, now to sit back and watch the dollars roll in!”.

I want to find a new way of doing business.  A business model that is fairer. For Everyone.  Where the people involved get paid what they deserve and the end consumer DOES NOT pay for someone’s luxury car.  I’d like to be able to “share the wealth” (and the love) with those that deserve it.

One idea I’ve had was born from the concepts of Crowdfunding and an idea I had for Crowdfunding the production costs for an Independent film, so that by the time the movie is ready for release, everyone who should have been paid, has been, allowing the movie to be released for free. As in creative commons free.

Could the same concept be applied to software, albeit in a slightly modified format?

Let’s say I’m at a point where it’s time for me to start marketing my system:

The old way of doing things:

I would first look at my system, the time it has taken and build a business plan around a standard sales model.  This would allow me to calculate how many copies of the software I would need to sell to break even.  I would then use this information to draw up a business plan taking into account such things as overheads and all of the REALLY interesting stuff.  I would then need to present this plan to an investor (or a bank) to be able to get the money to allow me to market it.  Of course this investor would then want a cut of the profits (assuming I made some).  This way of doing things would force me into the Greedy way of doing business.  I’d be made to charge more for the software than I would feel comfortable with.  I’d quickly begin to lose control over the decision making for the project, as the investors put pressure on me so that THEY can benefit.

Alternatively, I could go down “Software as a Service” route.  Not release the system at all, instead setup a dedicated server, and rent the use of the system.

A new way?

All I want from this is to make back what I’ve put in.  After that point, I don’t see the need to keep charging for it.  Like I said.  I’m not greedy.

Is there such a thing as “reverse” Crowdfunding? Raising the finds for a project after it has been completed?  After the “crowd” can see a working version of what they are supporting?

Would people support a Crowdfunding campaign, whose goal is to free up a developer from the greed of Commercialism?

I REALLY don’t want to go down the standard business paths for Flux Singularity, but I DO want to be paid for what I have done.

If I didn’t need money for outrageous things like rent, utilities and food, I’d just release it for nothing straight up, but unfortunately, the world simply does not work that way…

Thoughts?? Please Comment…

With the imminent birth of my 3rd child, my mind has been turning to the future and how to ensure I give my children the best possible chance to succeed in the future.  I’m sure most parents do the same thing.

I was at the supermarket the other day with my 2 year old daughter.  We only had to get a couple of things, so I took her through the self-serve checkouts.  While I was holding her, letting her swipe the items through the machine, a few questions sprung to mind:

How many manned checkouts will there be in 20 years when my daughter is shopping for herself?  Will they all be self-serve?  Will there even BE supermarkets?

It’s a bit of a scary thought.  How can you ensure your child is prepared for a future that in reality, is unseeable?

Shopping for groceries online, at least in my experience in Australia, is still a bit touch and go.  You end up buying “packages” that contain items you never use.  The only payoff is the convenience, especially these days with how much time everyone has to spend working just to make ends meet.  But apart from that, and the few self serve sections that some supermarkets are installing, the face of shopping really hasn’t changed much for as long as I can remember.

The other major changes I have seen have been in the media landscape.  You’d have to completely disconnected to not be able to see it.  Not even 20 years ago, the sort of movie that an independent film maker could produce would not even be able to come close to the quality and distribution of the major film studios.  Yet here we are today with original, high quality high definition independent films being released all the time, and being viewed by millions of people worldwide.

Services have started springing up to help make the process easier, joining script writer with producers and directors, building communities of fans around a film before it has even been made and services to help gather finds from those fans to make the idea a reality.

I’m not even a film maker, but I have 2 production on WreckAMovie, which provides services for a collaborative approach to film making.  One is an idea for an open source feature length film, and one is for “One Man’s Life Work”.  It has just become so easy to start turning some of our dreams into reality.

Can you imagine what things are going to be like for my daughter in 20 years?

Dear Diary,

So another day another dollar.  Some of the tasks today were actually quite fun, amidst the normal drudgery.  I had two blocks of script writing, one was for an old school 2d horror movie style, quite retro, dad is always going on about the “good ol’ days of 2d”.  I just couldn’t imagine it. Why would you?

I also had a couple of blocks of order packing. I HATE those with a passion, they take so damn long and pay bugger all.  The others were just the normal drudgery, administrative tasks, and some programming.

Dad was telling me again today that only 20 years ago, people did the same thing, all day, every day.  Each person had a single job description.  And they and they had to go to offices, and factories. It still amazes me.

Next week should be good, because I’m rostered on for field duties.  Hopefully I’ll get some more horse work blocks, they were great, not to mention the pay is really damn good.

My “bike maintenance” block was fulfilled today, 2 days early, so pretty stoked about that. I also helped Connor study for his office admin certification, and he’s coming along well.  Will be good for him to get some extra cash while he’s putting together his block for that new tv show.

Anyways, bed time.

With the new baby due in a little over 6 weeks, I have had to take a long hard look at the projects I have in their various states of incompleteness.  Everything from horror movie scripts to iPhone apps.  Some are easier to drop from the list than others, but with my personal time about to be slashed, it is something that needs to be done.

The iPhone apps are easy, for the simple reason that Apple have made it too hard and too expensive for me to “get into the game”.  Add to that the fact that even if the app is approved, they could pull it any time, and the decision is made.

The horror movie scripts, well script, one is little more than an idea.  Tougher.  Especially the script for “The Shed”, a script I bought last year from a guy called Alex Whitmer.  While I’d love to be able see the script turned into a Feature length film and my full vision created, it is just not going to happen in the near future, so that is going to be dropped as well.  I’m actually thinking of releasing the script under an Open license, maybe one day I’ll be able to watch someone else’s vision of the script.

One I’m really not ready to let go of, even though nothing has progressed in FAR too long, is OpenEmergency.com.  I think the idea is good, but again, time is against me at the moment, so it will have to move to the back burner for a while.

The rest are minor ideas or projects that I feel can wait indefinitely so I’m not too worried about those.

This has left me with only one item on my list. Actually two, but they each rely on the other so I’m counting them as.  These are “One Man’s Life Work” a constant and persistent fictional universe and “Flux Singularity” the software to run it.

I’ll be working to consolidate the information on both projects in the next week or so, to help give myself a firmer direction for them.

I can’t get enough of this guy. He’s just so damn talented. His album would have to be the first one I’ve paid for in quite a few years….

*tsk tsk*

yes i know

To listen to his latest album, use the player in the right column over there and down a bit ——->

If you like it, please buy it, the distribution method used allows for real cheap purchasing. and it’s worth it!!

More information can be found here:

Main Site

http://dubfx.net

Youtube

Dub FX Search

Just a quick update to let those people who are curious know  that I have not heard anything from the Doc in relation to the whole sweating thing.  I’m assuming it would be something to do with finding an appropriate specialist that is available to look into the case of someone who doesn’t have some massive private health insurance policy.

Although I have to admit, the sweating hasn’t been quite as bad the last few weeks…

Advancing beyond enemy lines…

Advanced Recon Party

Advanced Recon Party

Gotta love working at a place that greets you like THIS when you get to the office!

Move Out!!

Go! Go! Go!

Advancing

The General Looks over his troops